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Hi.

So i told my Mum today that i couldn’t draw anymore because i have no Money for that Paper. So she gave me some. Yay. It’s kind of frustrating if you want to do something but you can’t because you have no Money for Supplies. Yea.

You know that Feeling when you hurt your … gingival? God, my Englisch sucks, but anyway. When you hurt the inside of your Mouth with your Toothbrush? That happened to me a few Days ago but since i have to brush my Teeth every Day i hurt it again and again. Thats sucks. Yea. Just saying.

So i bought a Novel on the Garage Sale. It’s written in English and i thought i could learn something by reading this. It’s “The Hotel New Hampshire’ by John Irving btw. Yea. But INSIDE i found that Postcard. It’s from 2004 and it’s written by a japanese Girl with Name Akina from Ashiya to someone called Tom here in Germany. I’m wondering if i should return the Card to Tom. But since it’s from 2004 i’m not sure if he is still living on that Street that i can see on the Card. But i should try, right? Maybe it’s an important Memory for him. I think i will just put it into a envelope and send it over. Who knows, maybe he will answer and i have one more Pen-Pal.^^

Danie

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Easel

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Look at this.

I need this so bad. Oh yeah. Today i was looking outside my WIndow and seeing this on the other side of the street. God. I really need One of these. Yesterday i was talking to Schnip, my one and only Childhood Friend, telling her about my Ideas and Inspirations, telling her that i really need an Easel. And now this. So i was seeing this and i was like ‘Whyyyyyyyyy???’ D:

Because i know i can not afford one. It feels like a cruel Joke. Really not fair. I want to go down and take a Look at it. But i guess this will be depressing.

I’m wondering if i could craft One by myself or something similar. Hm.

I was thinking about an Idea. I really want to do something big. BIG. I need a really big Chipboard or a really big Canvas for the thing that i want to do. But my Budget is tight this Month. Like… every Month. I need some Ideas. Or maybe i could visit some Carpenters and ask them if they have some Leftovers that they don’t need? Ah, i really have no Hope. xD

Danie

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Pulse

Just a new Drawing of mine.

http://deadpeppermint.deviantart.com/

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Also, i forgot to post my last one.

Okay, so, my English is crap, but i still want to write down some of my Thoughts.

Hm? Why my English suck? Well, because i’m german. We have English as a Subject in School, but as you may know.. in public Schools nowadays, you don’t learn anything. Pupils are not listening, Teachers are not really teaching anything. So yeah. If i wouldn’t be into Online Games, i probably could not write anything in english. Haha.

You are still reading? That could mean, my Language Skills are not THAT bad, right? As long as you can understand, everything should be fine. xD

I finished my ‘Pulse’ Drawing today. I’m happy about that. Or i should be happy. But for some Reason i feel empty. I already have Ideas for a new One. Maybe something that has to do with Tarantulas. You think it’s weird for a Girl to think about Tarantulas? Haha. Yah, maybe. But you see, i had a Tarantula once. Her Name was Akumo and she was a mexican red Rump Tarantula. I really loved watching her spinning her Webs. It was stunning. Kind of hypnotizing. But one Day i was looking inside her Home and i was thinking that she skinned, but NO. It was her and she was dead. Oh Goddess. That was so sad. That was two Years ago but i still feel sad. I loved her dearly, even though she was a little bit aggressive and always making these sounds Chhhrrrrrcchh.. xD So cute, really. Like my Cat, when i’m pissing her off ^^

I’m bored of my Life and i’m thinking about how to change it. I was thinking of moving into another Country. But i’m rather poor. So i don’t know how to start anything. Too bad. But i really want to… live. To start something great. Maybe doing something big with another Artist or something. Seeing something of this World, not just sitting here in this small crappy Apartment and doing nothing all day. Maybe i should finally get a Job. But first i have to hear, what my Doctors are thinking. They think i’m not able to work, you know. They say, i’m too weak. My mental State would be instable. Bla bla. But i live this boring empty Life for more than 7 Years now. In exacty one Month i will turn 27. And there is nothing in my Life, where i could say “I did something”. I’m not satisfied anymore. I want to do something. But i don’t even have Connections. Nor Friends. My Life is so empty. It really sucks. So i want to change things. Making some Friends, heal myself, doing some great Art, just change everything about me. Losing 60 Pounds of Weight was the beginning, but i’m still not satisfied. I’m so bored of myself. Really. But where to start? I’m wondering about this. I never tried to change anything. I was just complaining. “Nothing will change. I’m nothing. I’m not worth anything. My Life will be always like this.” Fuck that. I really think it’s time to leave everything behind. Sometimes i just want to pack a Bag and my Bike and just leaving. But as a Girl, alone… it’s dangerous if i don’t know where to go to. Not having Money, not having Strength to defend myself in a dangerous Situation. I feel stuck in here. I feel like suffocating. I want to break out. I want to breath.

Yah. I just want to start something.

Danie

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Just love LP

Just love LP

 

I really don’t like it.

I was lazy. It does not have any Quality at all. I feel ashamed. I’m a really big LP Fan for more than 11 Years and that is all i could do? I will have to start a new One. Something bigger, something better. To show my Love for that one Band that moved so much inside of me.

Yah. I want to do a new One.

But i don’t have money for Supplies. xD

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Blog

My English is crappy, so i maybe just post some Pictures instead.

You can always visit my real Blog, yo! But it’s written in german. ^-^ 

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